I recently had a conversation with a young mother. It’s one I’ve had a few times before with young mothers over the years, and it involves baptism. The conversations are similar:
the baby is less than a year old,
the parents have no real connection with a church or intend to have any in the future,
and they think a baptism is a "good idea" and even an "important event.”
When I asked this young mother what makes it important to her, she was unsure but thought it would put her child on a path to make a choice for herself later in life about her faith. She says this even as she says that neither she nor her husband have any real interest in the church apart from their baby’s baptism.
I first explain what baptism is: a sacrament by which God, the parents and the congregation all take a vow to raise this child with the content of the Old and New Testaments and to surround this child with the steadfast love of Jesus. "That," I say, "cannot be fulfilled by any of us in absentia."
I then reminded her, children will learn what they live, not what they are told. If you want your child to value faith, or education, or respect, or work ethic, or self-discipline, or just about anything else, then you live those values as parents. I said to the young mother that baptism is nothing short of a lifestyle commitment rather than a check-the-box ceremony. As I say this I am reminded of the man who asked Jesus what he must do to receive eternal life. Jesus instructed him to give away everything he had and then “come follow me.” The man went away sad because he had many things (money, but one can substitute predispositions, contrary beliefs, pride, etc.) that he would not give up (Matthew 19:16-22).
I could tell this was more than what this young mother expected when she called to ask about "doing a baptism." However, it is the stuff of lordship, of discipleship and I assured her that I would be glad to have further discussion with her and her husband about baptism and their own discipleship which is where their child's discipleship is grounded – for better or worse. She politely thanked me for my time, and that I had given her much to think about. I believed that to be true, and I hope she calls again.
I am grateful for my mom and all mothers (and fathers) who understand baptism to be more than a good idea. It’s a significant step of many steps of Christian growth within the loving arms of a church family in which the parents lead their children by doing. We need more of those parents in this season. Thank you Mom (in heaven) and all mothers out there who lead their children so beautifully in the faith by living it themselves out of their baptism.
Connecting God and Grace to Self and Community,
